About Me

Washington, DC, United States
Heather Capell Bramble is mother of two kaleidoscoping kids, Jonah and Vera. She has a magical kaleidoscope, often in her back pocket, and it usually helps her turn her normally chaotic life into something beautiful. Her goal is to have as much fun and try to be as happy as they can while on the uncharted journey of motherhood. This means doing lots of arts and crafts, going on crazy adventures, and celebrating all kinds of holidays - and yes, trying to laugh along the way!

Saturday, July 2, 2016

Cheetahs and Turtles: We are not throwing away our shot!

Another six months have come and gone.  It is July 1.  The Friday before the holiday weekend. Summer is dripping and melting all around us and all over us. Summer is just begging to be licked, slurped and devoured by our tongues and lips – old and young. Summer is here.

Where am I? Where is my family?

We are here, too.  Same house. Same jobs. Kids are at the same camp this year as last.

Life is moving forward.  Throwing us new challenges, obstacles, accomplishments and moments.
I am still blessed and grateful.  My family best be just as grateful (we are working on this).

Cheetahs
And the world, it is spinning faster and faster.  Current events snow ball from one to another in this seven day a week, 24 hours a day, news cycle.  The Internet is always on, streaming everything in real time into the palms of our hands onto our smart phones via social media, twitter and smart apps.

We learn about everything in this way.  We get the information fast, cheetah-fast. Whether it is the satellite/doplar data of latest adverse weather developments or the photos of our best friend’s kid’s graduation; the minute by minute primary election results or the announcement of a death of an old colleague; a US Supreme Court decision or the body count from the latest mass shooting – this is the new reality.  A virtual online reality that is real and fast, like a cheetah…

And at the same time, there is so much fast anger and hate around us.  Politicians and people alike are resorting to violence and hate, in a way that I have not seen or experienced before.  We know it has happened throughout history and time, but today, now, in my lifetime, this seems different.  Palatable in a way that is so real and so fast, it hurts to think about it, to hear about it, to see it, day in and day out.

Sexism. Racism. Homphobia. Xenophobia.Anti-Semitism. Hate. It is all so fast.  Spewed by people like Trump and many others, it creates an atmosphere that is scary and unsafe.

A year ago, I wrote in this space about #LivingTheDream. It was a bittersweet post celebrating the marriage equality decision but also grieving over the then recent shootings at the South Carolina AME Church killing 9 people.  Since then, just one year ago, gun violence continues and escalates.  Hate continues and escalates. Such deaths happen fast.  Often premeditated and borne of ignorance, mental illness, neglect, despair, and hate.  Recently it has almost been too fast and too much to take…

Pride weekend in Washington DC was also Jonah’s birthday weekend.  We have not usually gone to the Pride parade because it is often on Jonah’s actual birthday and he is a bit annoyed/irritated he has two moms (we are working on this and he is evolving – it is more about the fact he is the only boy in our family, but he now realizes that is not because he has two moms, as President Obama is also the only boy in his family…).  I didn’t  want to make his birthday about Jocelyn and me and the fact he has two moms, so we haven’t done the parade.  This year I decided to ask him about going.  Rainbow Families hosted this great family friendly event at our old favorite playground and spray park that is on the parade route. I asked the kids and they were totally into it.  We also talked all about gay people and families, respecting each other, and rainbows – then we packed up with our rainbow gear and headed to the parade.  It was super-hot.  The kids had the Best.Time.Ever. (beads, treats, music, friends, dancing and lots of rainbows)  Jocelyn and I even remarked that the parade is so corporate now, all the big companies have floats. The floats are not risqué anymore.  It is very family-friendly, and whereas there was a time the parade was counter-cultural and a protest, today it is a celebration and maybe even a bit anachronistic… But for our little family, it was a magical parade.  We returned home exhausted and went to sleep.

Sunday morning, we awoke to fast smack in the face of information and death.  In Orlando, at a gay club, on Latino night, there was yet another mass shooting.  Information was fast and furiously buzzing on our smart phones.  In the end, it turns out there was one gunman with an automatic assault rifle. The gunman was Muslim. The information about the tragedy included buzzwords like terrorism, hate crimes, and radical Islam.  Rather than focus on the theories of why the gunman killed with an automatic assault weapon, I want to say that it is unthinkable that 49 people were victims of such a senseless act. An act that most likely happened because of many reasons, including (but definitely not limited to)

  • ·         this country’s inability to pass common sense gun laws including banning automatic assault rifles;
  • ·         an atmosphere of hate that is being fostered by our politicians and leaders against immigrants specifically Muslims and Latinos;
  • ·         fundamental religion’s intolerance of other ideas and ways of being, especially gay people;
  • ·         our country’s lack of mental health resources and a continued stigma on mental disease
  • ·     
I am terrified by all this. By how fast tragedy hits – out of nowhere. On that Sunday, for the first time, I told my kids about a tragedy like this.  I hadn’t told them about Sandy Hook (2012) and last year I never got around to talking to them about the shooting at the black churches (2015).  But this time, it was so fast; I did not have a choice.  Jonah read it on my phone.  This is the world we live in.

So we talked about it and then we went on with our Sunday.  I am dedicated to making a big difference in the world we live in, but that is very hard.  It involves incremental change.  I remain steadfast in my commitment to doing it, yet it will take time. – and not be fast, like a cheetah.

We can, however, make direct, impactful, and meaningful change in our own family–or at least we can try. We all struggle with the ease and quickness at which we become angry, and yes, even violent.  I know I do.  And Jocelyn does as well. We see how our kids struggle with it.  Everything is quick and instantly gratifying in a way that is almost unbelievable.  Computers are fast. Internet connections are fast. Video games are fast.  TV is fast.  Music is fast. Food is fast. Life is just fast, all the time. We figured we all needed to all work on slowly down a bit, and we committed to do so.

Turtles
As with many things in life, at different times, sometimes we need help, advice, and counsel.  Sometimes we need medicine and operations. Sometimes we need to practice and train to get something right. But we can never do it alone. Like I have said in this space many times before, it takes a village. So we consulted of “village” of experts and the universe sent us the Turtle.

We are working on something right now as family to make us all better – at everything really.  We working on acknowledging that in life we often move in two ways.  Fast like a Cheetah and then sometimes slow, stopped,  or paused, like Turtle.

Sometimes you need to move fast like a Cheetah.  When you are in a race – run fast like a Cheetah.  When your house is on fire, get out of the house, do not stop, do not look for anyone or take anything, just get out, fast like a Cheetah.  We need Cheetahs.  Cheetahs are awesome, amazing and beautiful creatures. We need to be fast sometimes.

But other times, we need to stop and take a moment and be like a Turtle.  Not even slow, but paused.  Like a Turtle who goes into her shell to take a moment and figure out the best next step.  A moment to stop our often not well thought out instinctual response.  We need to break the hardwired response – often fueled by passion, and hate and physical out bursts, with a moment inside our shell – inside our head. To stop, think and regroup and yes, breathe!  This is our new project. This is extremely hard for all of us, whether we are 45, 42, 7 or 5.  It is really hard work.

What I wish I could do is sit the whole world down and tell them about pausing like the Turtle.  I want to tell world leaders, the UK voters, religious icons, school teachers, sports stars, CEOs, Oprah, Hillary, Madonna, everyone. I want to require an international world pact about trying to be more turtle-like when we are fueled by emotion and passion.  I am not saying we need to be slow in general, or all the time, just pause when things are bubbling over like a shaken bottle of champagne.

I do see glimmers of this Turtle Movement. I do think some people get it–despite being faced with all of this fast hate and violence.  I saw it when Chris Murphy stopped the Senate for over 14 hours with his filibuster in order to bring a vote on certain gun laws.  We saw it days later when Representative John Lewis led a sit-in (they looked like turtles sitting on floor) literally on the floor of the U.S. House of Representatives for over 24 hours to force a vote on guns laws. And when Hillary Clinton gave her speech claiming to be the presumptive Democratic nominee, she spoke with such grace and elegance about love and kindness.  She spoke in a way that communicated to us the value of hitting the pause button and being in the moment.  To be in the moment the first time a women would be a major political party’s nominee for President.  Glimpses of moments. They are around.  But way too often they are overshadowed by angry tweets, violent acts, bad decisions made quickly without the right information or foresight and often regretted the next day (e.g. the recent Stanford rape case and BREXIT vote). We need more moments for the Turtles.

On a lighter note, it is no surprise to me that the Turtle is so profound.  I have been a big fan for a long time… 

  •   I remember vividly when I first fell in love with the Turtle, it was in Judy Blume’s book, Tale of A Fourth Grade Nothing.   The character Peter has pet a turtle name Dribble.  Peter’s little brother, Fudge, eats Dribble. Peter’s parents buy him a dog and he names it Turtle.  I was hooked on Judy Blume books and turtles. 
  • ·         Fast forward many many years later (January 2003) and my best buddy, Christine, and I traveled to Brasil on a fantastic vacation. During that trip, we adventured to Praia Du Forte’s Projecto Tamar in Salvadaor, Bahia to see the sea turtles.  The experience was life changing and unbelievable beyond all expectations. In the dark of night, we went with a small group of scientists and tourists and we saw a mama Tortuga lay her eggs on the beach and then a bit later, we saw another nest of baby sea turtles hatch and scamper into the see. The main objective of Projecto Tamar is to protect sea turtles from extinction in the Brazilian coastline. Here is the thing about these turtles:  the Mama Tortuga returns to the same exact beach where she was born during the dark of night.  She digs a very deep hole in the sand and lays about a whole bunch of eggs, then she covers up the hole and heads back to the sea.  After a few weeks, the eggs hatch again in the dark of night and the little turtles all head in the right direction toward the sea.  They will not return to that beach unless they are female turtles and lay their eggs.  WOW.  Talk about being like a turtle.  There is so much there.  Remembering, Pausing, Being, Trusting, Living, Adventuring, - but nothing about being fast, hateful or violent. I leave it to all of you to figure out what speaks to you.
  • ·         And then there was this weird thing when Jocelyn and I got together, she loved frogs and I loved turtles. While we were courting each other she would get me little turtles and I would get her little frogs. It is funny if you know us because in a way I am much more frog like – jumping from one thing to another, always doing and going. Jocelyn is more turtle like, slower, sleepier, a thinker.  This was a funny, silly, quirky thing of new found couplehood and love – wrapped up in a goofy nerdy romance and included a turtle.
So now I am back, this time married almost 10 years with two kids, trying to change myself, our family, and the world, one turtle moment at a time… I beg you all to come along for the ride and help.

My Name Is…
Before I end this post, I cannot do so without a shot out to the rage that is Alexander Hamilton (although I do not think he was very turtle-like – hence the dying in a duel way too early).  Creating space for turtle moments when we are happy, sad, mad, overwhelmed, and anxious, does not mean not living life to fullest and being creative.  And as you know I am committed to doing that as well. These past six months did not disappoint.  So in the vane of going into my turtle shell, taking a moment, and a pause, I give you a very long list of highlights from our last 6 months that have been lived while listening to the Hamilton soundtrack and refusing “to give away our shot” at happiness and love:



  • ·         Visiting Nana & Pop in Florida over Martin Luther King Jr, Weekend
  • ·         Enjoying the first Big Snow of 2016!
  • ·         Celebrating Tu B’Shevat – Happy Birthday to the Trees
  • ·         Playing lots of new games – Connect 4, Twister, Checkers, The Fox Game, Pie Face, Uno, and more!
  • ·         Dancing our way through Hamilton and every Top 40 song on the radio on our “stage” – (the living room rug)
  • ·         Celebrating and dancing at a Rainbow Families Valentine’s Day Family Dance
  • ·         Visiting the Wonder exhibit at the Renwick Gallery on a cold day
  • ·         Celebrating Presidents’ Day and playing at the Magic playground with our buddies
  • ·         Arranging elaborate tea parties
  • ·         Field tripping at school to the Apple Store (Jonah), the Building Museum (Vera), the Wonder exhibit (Jonah), Reptile show (Vera) and the Zoo (Jonah and Vera)
  • ·         Getting amazing report cards for the 3th and 4th quarters!
  • ·         Celebrating Dr. Seuss’ Birthday
  • ·         Celebrating our 9th Wedding Anniversary Shabbot by painting ceramic sculptures (ceramics are the traditional 9th year gift)
  • ·         Losing more teeth!
  • ·         Studying about Black History Month.  Jonah did a specific project on Muhammad Ali.
  • ·         Two belt tests:  Jonah went from Little Ninja Purple to Red, and then Little Ninja Red to Brown.  Vera went from Tiny Tiger Red to Little Ninja Gold, and Little Ninja Gold to Little Ninja Yellow.
  • ·         Celebrating Vera’s 5th and Mama’s 42nd Fancy Dress Up Tea Party with our amazing family and friends!
  • ·         Celebrating St. Patrick’s day with lots of Green.
  • ·         Getting ready for Purim and celebrating it! We had a Baseball Theme that was full of political references!
  • ·        Nana visiting Jonah's and Vera's classrooms.
  •            Vera’s Conversion: On the day after Purim, Vera had her conversion with three rabbis and one was named – Esther!  We celebrated with froyo and Vera received a silver Jewish Star.  It was a good day.
  • ·         Celebrating Easter in Baltimore with lots of family and friends.
  • ·         Running the Philadelphia 15K with my best buddies and exploring the town.
  • ·         Work travel to California and running on the beach
  • ·         Kids performing in their Spring show!
  • ·         Hanging out with my West Coast buddies in WDC at our  house and downtown
  • ·         Kids visiting my office for self-arranged Take Your Kids To Work Day! Because I was going to be at an out-of-town office meeting on the real day.
  • ·         Kids visiting Auntie Chris for official Take Your Kids To Work Day!
  • ·         Celebrating Passover with lots of family and out-of-town friends (two seders) including the #HamiltonHaggadah and #HamForSeder
  • ·         Geocaching with bestest buddies
  • ·         Swimming, baseball-ing, tap dancing, yoga-ing and karate-ing
  • ·         Strawberry picking
  • ·         Finding the homemade waffle truck at the Chevy Chase Farmer’s Market  on Saturday mornings
  • ·         Celebrating Mother’s Day together with homemade cards and yummy breakfast.
  • ·         Celebrating Grandma’s 70th birthday at the same place with celebrated Pop Pop’s 60th almost ten years ago!
  • ·         Visiting the Dupont Underground – Re-Ball exhibit
  • ·         Celebrating Lag B’Omer with bows and arrows and candy bon fires.
  • ·         Traveling to Long Beach Island for Memorial Day Weekend with our bestest friends
  • ·         Playing on the weekend at Sela’s Community Day
  • ·         Celebrating Jonah’s actual birthday and Washington DC Pride at Stead Park and watching the parade
  • ·         Voting for Hillary Clinton in the Washington DC Primary!
  • ·         Last day of Sela School!
  • ·         Jonah’s two birthday parties: (1) friends party and (2) family party with the theme: Team 7 – Laugh, Play, Win!
  • ·         Family Trip to Chicago with Nana
  • ·         Starting Camp Barrie! And the #SummerOfTheFun2016

Florida, MLK JR weekedn

Florida

Florida

Florida

FLorida

Florida

Florida

Florida

Florida

homemade beignets!

tu bhsevat

to bsevat

Big Snow January

Big snow Janaury

Big snow January

Big snow January

Rainbow Families Valentines Day

HAppy Valentines day

Wonder Exhibit

Wonder Exhibit

Wonder Exhibit

Wonder Exhibit

post Wonder Exhibit

post Wonder Exhibit

presidents day

belt test

belt test

belt test

belt test

belt test

swim

swim

happy birthday dr seuss

Muhamed Ali project

9th wedding anniversary

anniversary shabbot

st patricks day

flat jonah in london

getting ready for purim!

let's PURIM ball!

purim

conversion day!

conversion day


conversion day

easter

easter


easter

laptops

tea parties

tea parties

vera bday

vera bday

vera bday

vera bday

vera bday


vera bday

vera bday

Nana goes to Jonahs class

Nana goes to Vera class

Philly 15K

Philly 15K

Philly 15K

Philly 15K

Sanata Monica Pier

San Diego Firends

San Diego Friend

Mommys office

Mommy office

Jonah class trip to Wonder

official take your kid to work day at Auntie Chris' office

official take your kid to work day auntie chris' office

passover

searching for chametz

burning the chametz

big matzah ball seder party


passover

seder 1

seder 2

seder 2

seder 2

seder 2

passover friends

geocache

geochache

breaking passover with pizza and bread

piano

piano

regular dancing and singing party to Hamilton

Mothers day

Grandma's 70th birthday

Reballz

reballz

reballz

reballz

reballz

lag bomer

lag bomer

LBI

LBI

LBI

LBI

LBI

LBI

LBI

presidents spring 16

Presidents spring 16

presidents spring 16

belt test

belt test

belt test

belt test

belt test

belt test

strawberry picking

strawberry picking

strawberry picking

strawberry picking

first day back at upshur pool!

Shavuout crepe making

community day

community day

community day

community day

DC Pride parade at the park

DC pride parade

DC pride parade

DC pride parade

DC primary day

dc primary day

dc primary day

last day of school - crazy clothes day

jonahs bday

jonahs bday

jonahs bday

jonahs bday

honoring our fathers on their day!

jonahs bday

jonahs bday

first day of barrie camp

first day of barrie camp

chicago trip!

chicaog trip - hotel lunch

chicago- visiting the adoption agency

chicago trip - fun at playground with old friends

navy pier

navy pier

crown fountain

crown fountain

the bean

the bean

olympic day at camp - white team