kaleidoscoping chaos...: Thankful - For The Love of Dogs

Author's Note: I meant to post this on Thanksgiving Weekend - but I didn't and I never got around to labelling the 400 pictures. But I decided I better just post it or I may never. So here it is. It covers 11-9-20 to Thanksgiving 2021... Enjoy.

I always have a plan about these blogs. But then it always changes and evolves – I expect it is something like when real writers write things like articles, novels, etc. My plan was to write it and post it exactly one year since my last post and use the Rent song, Seasons of Love, chorus as my title, “525,600 minutes, how do you measure a year?” That would have meant getting it written and posted on November 9, 2021, and well, that did not happen. And then just like that the blog kinda wrote itself, in my head, this past Tuesday night and I needed time to write down. The perfect time was over Thanksgiving break at Jocelyn’s family’s house, mostly while snuggling with our two rescued Dorkies, Morti & Beni.

The Year of the Dog

As I said, my original thought was to write this whole thing about the past 525,600 moments (or minutes) of the past year. I am kinda going to still do that, but if you may have noticed – with a bit of a dog theme. And boy has it been a year – a dog of year. Biden won – thank god. I started my new job. The kids were still in online school in Winter 2020 – working their way through it to winter break. Jonah studied and focused and really engaged in middle school. Vera was somewhat bored. Jonah was still playing baseball and Vera was doing outdoor gym classes. They were still doing zoom and outdoor jujitsu. We went with our crew and volunteered for “Everything But The Turkey” at our local JCC in the outdoor parking lot. We celebrated Thanksgiving at home and on zoom – you know 2020 style. So much ZOOM!!!! We got a solo fire pit for Chanukah (but it arrived on Thanksgiving!) which was a great pandemic purchase. We celebrated Chanukah outside with tiki torches and gelt (chocolate candy coins) s’mores with the firepit. We also got an outdoor screen and movie projector for Chanukah and spent many winter nights watching outdoor movies (with the firepit) – and even was able to show the then new Daveed Digs Chanukah puppy video during our 8 outdoor nights of Chanukah 2020 celebrations. We took our traditional cousin pictures outdoors with masks – with both sets of cousins – in our backyard. For my 50^th bday, I got an amazing renovated screen-in front porch with electric heaters, and additional movie screen, bar and new furniture – it was total pandemic party space! As 2020 closed, we ended it with a drive-by Christmas present exchange with our Baltimore family and stopped at our besties in Baltimore house for some caroling. We spent New Year’s Eve in our house and on zoom with a cupcake contest and photo props and a countdown to end WTF 2020!!!! We were so excited for the New Year… and that was only two months from the last blog.

Beware of the Dog: Guard Dogs & Underdogs Unite

The countdown to the inauguration for us started on Jan 1. But not more than a week into 2021, we witnessed January 6^th. It was shocking, crazy, scary, and not more than 5 miles from our living room – unfolding on CNN, shaking the foundations of our republic and our faith in democracy. The visuals were unbelievable. The feeling was terrifying. And as the hours and days passed we learned of emotionally compelling stories. The story about Representative Raskin and how he was there, even though he had just buried his son - a victim of suicide – the day before. He was with his daughter – worried for his and her life. The story about the black Capitol police officer, Eugene Goodman. A mob of angry dangerous insurrectionists were following him in the Capitol building and he misdirected them – on his own, away from the Senate Chambers to protect the Senators. The story about House Speaker Nancy Pelosi’s staff fearing for lives as they barricaded themselves into a conference room as the insurrectionists destroyed Madame Speaker’s office – hiding in the ways they had learned in high school during active shooter drills. The story about Representative Andy Kim who after voting to certify Joe Biden’s victory over Trump that same day — started cleaning up the garbage and destruction left by the rioters and insurrectionists with the Capitol police. But there is one story that broke my heart. The story my son wrote at the end of the summer, for his summer reading project.

For one of his summer reading books, Jonah read March by John Lewis. It is an intense book chronicling John Lewis’ journey as a civil rights activist often facing violence with peaceful protest – putting his body and life on the line. For Jonah’s summer reading project, he had to write a letter to John Lewis and tell him how the book changed his life. In one part of the letter Jonah wrote,

Although I never had violence come directly at me like you did, I still know the feeling of being scared when there is violence near you. I know the feeling of this because I was in Washington D.C when the riot at the Capitol happened. It was kind of scary because I knew that people were getting hurt. I live in D.C. and I was downstairs playing video games, when I heard my mom say, “Oh my gosh!” in an alarmed voice. I ran upstairs and asked her what happened. She told me, “There are people breaking into the Capital.” I looked at my parents' TV and saw it with my own eyes! I saw a bunch of people packing up against the doors of the Capitol and breaking the glass to get inside of it. I felt surprised and scared. I felt surprised because I have never seen this before in my life. I felt scared because I did not know what was going to happen and I live pretty close to the Capitol. I thought, “What is going to happen next?” My experience connected to your experience because I felt really scared and you probably felt scared when people were attacking you.

Your book, March, has changed me by showing me how to be brave and not always respond to people's cruelty and violence because they are trying to get a violent response from you that will hurt you in the future. Your book, March, also changed me by knowing that you have changed the world so much by dedicating your whole life to the Civil Rights movement. Thank you for how you worked so hard on making things more fair for everyone.

Jonah’s letter gave me insight into my kid. How much he understands and how much he gets what is going on in the world. Even when we don’t think they are paying attention, our kids are watching us and how we move through the world. It reminds me of how pets (often dogs) are said to sense things and know when their owners are sad or scared and they get when big things are happening. It’s the same with kids – we may not tell them everything or include them in all the conversations but all of it seeps into their lived experience and essence of who they are.

Every Dog Has His Day

And then finally, it was January 21^st – Inauguration day. We had President Biden and Vice President Harris inspired ice cream and our traditional cinnamon rolls. We watched the transition of power on our TV and celebrated. We also watched the amazing Amanda Gorman read her poem, "The Hill We Climb” in her bright yellow coat – that moved me to tears. Watching my daughter, Vera, who also radiates in yellow as she watched the TV as the first black woman Vice President was sworn in and this fantastic 22 years old black Poet Laurent read her poem for the world. Amanda Gorman closed her poem with these words:

For there is always light, if only we’re brave enough to see it.

If only we’re brave enough to be it.

It was a day we had waited over four years for. I could still feel the deep pain of Hillary’s defeat in 2016 and the 4 years of serious trauma resulting from Trump’s presidency – but we were able to breathe again. To take deep cleansing breaths. To wake up and look forward to a new day…

Dog Tired

Here is the thing, life goes on. The pandemic still raging, 2021 brought the promise of vaccines, but all of us still wearing masks and social distancing and zooming… And Vera went back to in-person school – she so needed it. She was bored at home and missing her friends and needed to be with people. Thank goodness her small charter went back full-time in person. It made a huge difference for her. But things were not back to normal, even as we were trying to find our way back to some kind of new normal. Spring baseball season started. More outside jujitsu and outdoor gym classes for Vera and her friends. Work was busy and all the spring holidays were upon us. We did the DC murals tour on U street. We did lots of volunteering which meant making things at home and donating them but also going in person and volunteering outside. We packed food and necessities, gardened, made peanut butter and jelly sandwiches to donate, made snack packs to donate, and wrote thank you cards. We had MLK, Jr Day, Ground Hog’s day, Tu B’shevat, our 14^th wedding anniversary, Pie Day (3/14) and St Patrick’s Day. We marked the year anniversary of the Covid-19 Pandemic Lockdown with our neighbors on our porch and listened to the 525,600 minutes song. Then it was Purim! The Purim spiel was going to be on Zoom so this year I got the kids do it! We video taped them singing and dancing and acting and sent it in. On Purim they edited the whole thing and it was awesome! At the end of March was Vera’s and Jocelyn’s birthdays (10 and 47). Vera had a bunch of birthday parties – she turned double digits! She had an in-person buddy porch movie night party. She had a zoom painting party (skateboarding foxes…). She had a family IRL party and zoom party. Jocelyn and I got vaccinated!!!! And Passover arrived – so we hosted two outdoor seders – one for friends and one for family. I made my bestie's famous meatball recipe and they came out great. We had lots of Matzah Smores around the firepit. During the kids’ spring break I took some time off and we did Adventure week – which was awesome but exhausting (totally dog tired!) We planted our front yard garden, went Go-Kart racing, we did the Sandy Springs Adventure Park ropes course, we visited the I’m Speaking mural at the Wharf, we took a day trip to Luray Caverns and saw an African-American school house, a Slave Auction block, and a stop on the underground railroad, as well as the awesome caverns and even a hike in Shenandoah National Park. After Spring break, we were still going strong. An old campaign friend and her dog came to visit (she has her own great blog at Bauer on the Road). We started attending Zoom Bar Mitzvah’s and some even had drive-by outdoor activities. And then Jonah was able to start going back to school – first once a week and then twice a week! He went to school and then attended virtual school while sitting in an actual classroom – but at least he was able to walk to school with friends and go into the building. He had waited a long time for that.

Puppy Dog Eyes

Before we knew it, it was Saturday, May 1^st. Everyone knows about the “pandemic puppy” craze… Well in our village everyone had gotten a dog. My kids and Jocelyn had been "hounding" me – uninterrupted – for months about getting a dog. I was the lone holdout. I mean let’s be honest – I felt like we were barely keeping the four of us alive – the thought of other living things dependent on me was overwhelming. I mean I did not even have any houseplants – for this very reason. I felt like our amazing garden -that I loved – was responsibility enough. Jocelyn wanted to get a golden doodle from a breeder. We are very allergic, so we needed a hypoallergenic dog – but I was against “buying” the dog. Many fights and tears later, I came up with a solution. I created a list of requirements for the dog. If the three of them could work together to find a dog that met these requirements – I would agree. Here was my list of requirements (I figured there was no way I had to deal with the issue as it was a pretty tough list – so I did not think they would meet it):

1. Must be a rescue dog.
2. Must be male – because Jonah was always complaining about being the only male in the family.
3. Must be an adult – I was not dealing with a puppy
4. Must be potty trained – again – we don’t have time for that
5. Must be hypoallergenic breed
6. Must be small enough that I could pick up with no much effort (20 pounds or under)

Two-things – 1) I forgot to say only one and 2) You know when you open the door on something like this – you have already lost…

For months, they had tried to get the hypoallergic dogs from the rescue places, but it was all on zoom because of the pandemic and it was a crazy system and they would never even get in the running. Then as a result of the vaccinations and numbers going down, a number of rescue places started doing the in-person events at the Petco/Petsmart. They would post the dogs online and you could show up. On that Saturday May 1, Jocelyn saw there were some Yorkie mixes that were up for adoption and asked if we could go. Yorkies are hypo dogs so there was a good chance these would be. I said yes, figuring, you know – there would probably be a bunch of people and the likelihood we would even be in the running was low. We piled in the car and off to Petco we went. A few hours later we returned with Morti & Beni – our two Dorkies… Here is the short version of the story…

We walk up to the Petco in Rockville, MD and it is hot out. It is kinda weird as people are still not really out and about. The volunteers are set up in front with a few dogs. We say we are there to check out the Yorkie mixes. They point us over to these two shaggy, messy dogs. One is barking his head off and one looks like he is trembling. They are like here they are – this one is Mordechai (the terrified one) and this one is Bentley (the one that is barking). The kids fall instantly in love. Jocelyn is looking at the adorable lab mix puppy next to them. And I am like – I think this might have been a mistake. They make you register at the table with a QR code for the dogs you are interested in. Then they tell us – the Yorkie mixes must be adopted together because they are a bonded pair. Whaaattttt??? We hang out with the Yorkie mixes – or Dorkies as they tell us because they are Yorkshire Terrier and Dachshund mixes. We have a curbside emergency family meeting. Jonah tells me, look mommy, these are Jewish dogs – his name is Mordechai – we have to adopt them. What if someone not Jewish adopts them and then they won’t be able to be Jewish anymore. (Insert knife in my heart) Then Vera chimes in and says, look mommy, we need to adopt them to keep their family together – it is so hard to get adopted if you are not a puppy and if you are a pair – if we don’t give them a home they may never get one – this coming from my adopted daughter. (twist inserted knife all the way around my heart). I officially called an executive session of the family meeting on the sidewalk. I look at Jocelyn and the kids and I say – ok – the dogs meet all the requirements on the list – although I did expect it to be only one dog. The volunteers claimed they were adults and trained. They were males and rescues and only 12 pounds each. But there were two for goodness sake. And they were cute… they had puppy dog eyes. I tell my crew that I will not be the reason we do not get them. I will go along if they all affirmatively say yes – which means since there are two – everyone needs to understand it will be double the work and double the money… double the walks, etc. I look at Jocelyn – the person who had been obsessively carrying on about getting the dog for months on end and I tell her it is her decision. She looked at me and said I don’t know I am overwhelmed/terrified that it is two and they seem kinda crazy but they are adorable… I tell her it us up to her again. Just like that – she says – ok do it, I will get the car. That is how we adopted Mordechai and Bentley. We went in to Petco to buy some food, leaches, a dog bed, etc. There was almost nothing there to buy but we bought some stuff. Somehow during that time, Bentley split his paw open so the volunteers had to do some first aid on him and we ended up taking him home with a cone of shame?!?! But they were ours. We gave them the nick names of Morti & Beni. We brought them home, took them to Jonah’s baseball game and then to a Lag B’omer BBQ at our friend’s house and that was that. We were now a family of 6 – 3 guys and 3 girls, 4 humans and 2 dogs, and whole lot more of crazy with a heaping pile of love… puppy love.

Dog Days of Summer

May flew by followed by an even faster June. The kids finished school hybrid and in person. Jonah finished his two baseball teams. There was a whole drama on his little league baseball team (The Monarchs) – but that is for another blog post…) Morti & Beni started celebrating shabbat with us and loving the challah! We celebrated Mother’s Day and Grandma Joy’s bday in person! We made crepes with Auntie Chris for Shavuot. Our garden was exploding with cucumbers, beans, strawberries, tomatoes, and herbs. And then on June 11, Jonah turned 12! He also had an in-person movie birthday party and got his vaccination! Nana and Pop came to visit for his bday which was awesome. We also went to a fancy box at Nats stadium with a few friends to celebrate (thanks to a good buddy) – it was quite the whirlwind. There was some more volunteering. Torah school events back at Adat Shalom outside. And even the dogs got groomed. Did I mention, we hadn’t had time to take down the Chanukah lights – and they were still up. In a flash, school ended. Jonah met his grade goal that he worked so hard on all year – with an A average and earned a PS5. The day school ended, we packed the kids up for sleepaway camp, we packed the car up with all our crap, and we packed the dogs up with all their stuff, and we started our first summer road trip to Allentown, PA for an IRL adventure with friends and camp drop-off.

Hair of the Dog that Bit You

The phrase, Hair of the Dog that Bit You, is often used to describe drinking alcohol when you have a hangover, to cure it. Its origins date back to medieval times, when hairs from a biting dog were put in the bite wound in the belief that this promoted healing. Basically, do something as crazy as the problem itself to solve the problem. My solution to being tired and exhausted, somehow is to do more exhausting things… like go on a roundtrip with two dogs in the back of the car to Allentown, PA and meet my friends, before I drop off my kids a sleepaway camp. So that’s what we did. And it was great.

It had been so long since we travelled as a family and never had we travelled as a family of 6. Why Allentown you ask – because my bestie had heard of this park called Ringing Rocks park – which is a county park that turns out to be not that far from camp drop off. My buddy met us in Allentown on Friday night at the hotel (a dog friendly hotel – because that is now how we roll) and Auntie Chris even drove up with us too! We had shabbat in our rooms Friday night and toasted our friendship and gratefulness to travel again. On Saturday morning we adventured to the Waffle House and then Ringing Rocks Park. At the park, you bring a hammer and bang on the rocks and they emit these metallic sounds – it is weird and cool and totally goofy but worth it. Then we hit the hotel pool. That evening, we went to Coca Cola Park to watch a minor league game that ended in fireworks. And Sunday we dropped the kids off at camp. We drove home - just Jocelyn and me and the two crazy dogs - quite a ride home.

We had a great two weeks without the kids and celebrated July 4^th with friends and went kayaking and played a murder mystery game at our house. The kids were supposed to stay at camp for three weeks, but it was still crazy pandemic times – and the kids were home after two weeks… They both had gotten sick (not COVID but real sick and homesick) and they ended up coming home early - a week earlier. They got better and we kept the summer going. We went peach picking, baked challahs, the kids went to tennis camp, and had pool playdates. Then we packed up again and headed out to our Maine road trip – yes with the dogs again.

Still tired but excited for our family vacation, we started the next adventure. A road trip North, through New Jersey to visit camp friends, to Suffern, NY to visit best friends, a stop in Salem, MA to visit the town the witches were burned at the stake, and then onward to Maine to visit Jocelyn’s friend from law school. A week in Maine first on a lake! Then two nights in Portland adventuring around the city and ending the night again at a minor league baseball park with fireworks. The next leg of the road trip was back to New York, this time to Long Island – to hang with Nana and Pop. We stayed in a hotel with the dogs with a pool, hung for a bit, and then Jocelyn took the dogs back home and I stayed with Nana and Pop for the week. A week of working during the day and hanging with the family at night and yes, more adventures – COVID style. We went to Fire Island, a Brooklyn drive-in movie while watching the Manhattan skyline; Coney Island at sunset and another minor league baseball game in Brooklyn; NY pizza, NY deli, and NY bagels; and then my brother with his crew came to “Nana Camp” for family shabbat dinner and the cousin photo shoot. The next day, I took the kids back on a train ride to DC.

We didn’t even sleep 8 hours and we were back on the road – driving to BWI – so the kids could meet up with Grandma and Grandpa and their cousins for their cousin trip to Antigua – because they have the life of a ribbon winning show dog! Even though we all went to the wrong airport at 5am – and had to drive to DCA – they made their flight and had a week in paradise. We picked them up the following week and all got ready for regular life to begin!

Work Like a Dog (Play Like a Dog)

We ended the summer with more pool playdates, camp friends visiting, and the Arlington County fair. The first day of in-person school came for both kids. And that was it, we were back into it all – school, work, and all the activities. Jonah was back in baseball. Kids were back in the dojo for jujitsu training for their black belt. Vera started Girls on the Run training twice a week and a new dancle class at Jones haywood studio. Jonah was 4 months into intense Bar Mitzvah tutoring. Vera was back at hybrid Torah school.

September brought the marathon of Jewish holidays! We celebrated Rosh Hashannah, Yom Kippur, Tashlich, Simchat Torah and sukkot. Outside with friends and family. During Rosh Hashannah, the Capell crew gathered and made my Grandma Pauline’s special stuffed cabbage – Auntie Renee taught us how. We even visited the COVID memorial on the Mall with the white flags – it was totally intense.

Through it all working and going to school and doing it all… At the end of September, I had my first work trip and even took a plane. First time I met my new work colleagues in person! It all went great, but it is a lot – not that I would change any minute. And doing it all – during a pandemic – it is a lot. There was a week that Vera was on virtual school because her class had a positive COVID case. Jonah was figuring out in-person middle school with all its trials and tribulations – but doing a great job.

Can’t teach an old dog new tricks

We were deep into fall and craving our regular celebrations and gatherings – we are just really “old dogs”. Halloween!!! We all dressed up (even the dogs) – all of us and went out and celebrated with our friends. Jocelyn and I were Morpheus and Trinity from the Matrix. Jonah was the Yankee Aaron Judge, Vera was with anime character Mina Ashido from My Hero Academia, and Morti & Beni were Dr. Seuss’ Thing 1 & 2 – because of course!!!

Once we hit Halloween, it was the countdown to my birthday. I had a fun bday with my family crew and then we were looking forward to Thanksgiving. Before that, my two hearts had a huge weekend – Black Belt tests for both and COVID vaccine for Vera. The Black Belt tests were a long time in the making. Jonah started martial arts at 3 years old taking Karate. Vera spent two years watching him and then also started Karate at three years old. Then in 2017 we switched dojos and martial arts to jujitsu to an amazing studio, run by a Master from our charter school community. It was a hard change, we loved our old dojo, but it was far away, and this made sense. Since then, kids have gone at least 2x a week even on zoom during the pandemic. We had been building up to this black belt test for a while. Kids had to run 2 miles, 100 sit-ups, 50 pushups, 30 good mornings, 50 squats, and 200 jumping jacks. That was just the beginning then there was a whole set of jujitsu tests and a 2-page essay they had to read. 4.5 hours later – we had two black belts. I was so proud. And then the next day – Vera got her first COVID vaccine. It was so emotional for me and she was so brave (she was a black belt) – because she was! Quite the weekend!

On Monday, I left for another plane trip. I was able to attend a conference that I had gone to for the past 6 years in person (last year was on zoom) – in Santa Barbara, CA – this was a big plane trip. My bestie met me in LA and drove me to Santa Barbara – we met other buddies I had not seen in forever on the way – it was a whirlwind, but it was real life with real friends and doing things we used to do. Like before COVID, but not really…

I got back and there was still so much going on! The big thing was it was time for Vera to run her Girls on the Run Celebration 5K. Vera and I dressed up in Wonder Woman shirts, socks and masks and we all went to Anacostia park for the big event at 7am! It was a sunny but cold day. Vera and I ran the race together with her buddies and coaches. Jonah ran with his buddy and Jocelyn cheered us on. It was such a fantastic moment for Vera and me. Running is a thing I have always loved and come back to throughout my life. Vera had done the run during the Black Belt test and I was so proud of her then. But this was great because we did it together. At one point she said to me, "I will not stop running this mom, I am going to finish, it is really hard but I am going to finish." And she went on, "and no matter what we have to go as fast as we can over the finish line!" And I just said back – "yes we don’t give up and we go fast at the end." And boy did she go fast at the end – she blazed so fast I could not even keep up!

That evening, we met up with some other buddies and volunteered at the “Everything But the Turkey” event at the DCJCC making yams. It was a great night in the parking lot, peeling potatoes and mixing up food for those who wouldn’t have any. A tradition we have done for years with buddies. It felt good to do a mitzvah - and a great way to eliminate the Sunday Night Blues!

Sick as a dog

Through all this craziness over the past 6 months – since May 1^st – we have experienced it all with Mort & Beni. For good and for bad – through their barking and biting, snuggling and playing. All the silliness and wackiness and uncontrollable behavior. Through their loyalty and fierce defensiveness – and their walks and fetching games and yelping and squeaking and panting and potty accidents… it has been the six us – trying to figure out how to take care of each other, learn from each other, and love each other. We realized Morti is older and has an old soul. He loves to play fetch and only wants to snuggle on your lap or right next to you. Beni is loud, playful, and definitely younger. He barks his head off, marks every single tree when he goes on a walk and loves to tilt his head and give you a wink. The two are clearly bonded and always kiss and sniff each when they have been apart for more than 5 minutes. They play and roll around on the floor like little kids. And they love treats! Morti & Beni are clearly bonded to each other – and now it seems – we are all bonded with them.

This past Monday night Jonah was playing with Morti and he got really upset. He told me, Mommy, Morti has a really big tumor. I took a look and Morti has a big lump in his neck. It was 8pm so waited till the next morning to call the vet and at 6:30pm on Tuesday night I was sitting at the vet with my little Morti. There I was in the office listening to the vet saying things like lymphoma, treatment, blood tests, and biopsy. All I could think of was – no way – Morti can’t have cancer – WTF. But also thinking whatever happened our family was better off for having Morti in it – even if I was the one who was against getting dogs in the beginning… because once they are yours – they are yours forever – for the love of dogs…

Dogs are (hu)man’s best friend

They say the thing about a dog is the unbelievable unconditional love they have for their humans. They are always happy to see you and they completely live in the moment – they are like the most “mindful” creatures around. They are truly best friends – because they do not judge you but stand with you where ever you go and whatever you do. And to get to watch them be friends with each other is even a bigger treat.

We spent Thanksgiving with our family in Baltimore and brought the dogs. Morti is on medicine and it seems the lump is getting smaller and hopefully that means it is not a scare diagnosis but something that can be cured. Our cousins loved hanging with the doggies and we were all so thankful to be able to gather together for the holiday. Here’s the thing – dogs teach about love. Morti & Beni had a whole life before us – but now they have rescued us, adopted us into their pack. We keep expanding their pack to include more family and more friends. They bark when people come and when people go (and maybe even nip at their ankles). They are the sparkliest silver lining of the pandemic and we are committed to being the best dog family we can be. And it may be the case that they are getting the most Chanukah presents this year than anyone in the family. They are our Dreidel Dogs… I am so thankful – for the love of dogs, for two new K-9 friends, and all my blessings.

And here are the photos - way too many of them... 11/10/20 through 11/24/21

PS: Morti's lump is gone... so onto the next thing...