Rev.
Martin Luther King, Jr.’s, I Have A Dream speech
President
Obama’s, Dreams from my
Father
William
Shakespeare’s, A Midsummer’s
Night Dream
Sting’s,
Dream of the Blue
Turtles
Edgar
Allen Poe’s, A Dream
Pablo
Picasso’s, La Reve (the
Dream)
Broadway’s,
Dream Girls
The
movie, Requiem for a
Dream
The American Dream…
Dreaming Big, Dreaming Often
Tomorrow is Independence Day. I wanted to post this on July 1st - but I couldn't get it done. So I am posting it from the Jersey Shore. Still not totally done - but done enough. Sometimes you just have to post it, to get it out. This
is a long one. I apologize in advance.
Dreams. There are so many dreams…
I
have wanted to sit down and write a blog post for quite a while now. The problem is I am so busy doing, working,
playing, enjoying, being, hating, yelling, yawning, crying, laughing – it just
never stops. Sometimes I find myself
writing blog posts in my head. Often even
dreaming of them. Sometimes I use my
Facebook status as a short blog post. I
haven’t ventured in the world of Twitter yet, but my guess is that if I did, I
would be tweeting blog post blurts in 140 characters when my phone would
actually work, I really need a new phone. But I digress.
Finally,
it is summer. Post unofficial start of
summer – Memorial Day weekend. Post the
vernal equinox. And right before July 4th weekend. It has been long time since we last checked
in – since December 1st. We have all dreamed many a dream
since then.
So
much has changed. Or has it. My dream
of having a happy, healthy and satisfied life, full of meaning and love – that
has stayed the course. But the scenery,
props, people, places and things – they are constantly changing. It is often exhausting, exhilarating,
exciting and exasperating – but it is living – and it is life.
This
past Friday, June 26, 2015, Jocelyn, Jonah, Vera and I had an experience, a
moment, a blog worthy event, almost dreamlike. Funny how these things happen at just the
right time. We “adventured” with a group
of mostly new and some old friends to the White House. Yes, the White House. And yes, there is a backstory:
The
Backstory
This
year we joined Adat Shalom
Reconstructionist Synagogue in Bethesda, MD.
Jonah began “Gan” – kindergarten level Hebrew School. I had heard about Rabbi Fred at Adat Shalom since
I had moved to Washington, DC in 1998, but I was committed to joining a
synagogue within the city limits. Finally
last summer, after I had been shul shopping for more than 16 years, Jocelyn
urged me to commit to a synagogue. At
the same time, a good friend of mine was also looking for a shul and he checked
out Adat Shalom and said to me something like, “ Listen Heather – you need to
go check out Adat Shalom – you know how we keep talking about what we want in a
synagogue – well this is it – and it isn’t too far!!!” So I did, and I was sold. It is the kind of place I have always dreamed about and truly the first
synagogue that I finally felt “home” when I walked in the door (and I have been
to synagogues all over the world from Beijing to Rio, from Los Angeles to Provincetown,
from Curacao to Napoli – I go to synagogues.).
Adat Shalom isn’t perfect – nothing ever is – but it works for us. Jonah LOVED Gan this year. Vera LOVED tot
shabbot. We have a great group of
friends and it is wonderful to see them every Shabbot (Saturday from
9am-2pm). It is a community and we are
lucky to be a part of it. My untraditional
family fits in and that is what is so special.
This
past Friday, we joined The Jewish
Multiracial Network
(JMN) on the tour of The White House. We
were introduced to JMN through good friends from Adat Shalom. JMN describes
itself as,
JMN was founded in
1997 by a group of parents who wanted to provide a community and supportive
network for multiracial Jewish families. JMN’s initial programming efforts
sought to provide Jewish children of color and their families a space where
their dual identities would not be challenged — through the organization of
social gatherings along the East Coast and the development of an annual
retreat, which continues to this day. As our organization has grown, we have expanded
our impact to include adult Jews of Color and members across the continental
United States. What started over 15 years ago as a group of just a handful of
families has now grown into a thriving community of hundreds of members.
Our
friends asked us if we were interested in joining JMN and if we would possibly
help to organize a JMN group tour to the White House. I took me about a millisecond to answer,
YES!!!
If
you are reading this blog, you know I am a bit passionate about stuff, and a
bit nutty… and I may have even written about this crazy idea before – but ever
since we voted for President Obama in 2012 (see here, here and here), I have had this dream that Jonah and Vera would meet
him - like in real life. I know that is totally weird and cliché but I
just had this feeling. The next best
thing is going to the White House – as in inside the White House – President
Obama’s White House. As many of you know, we all went The White House
Easter Egg Roll in 2013 (courtesy of
our awesome friend Emily
Hecht-McGowan
and The Family Equality Council) and then I went
again with the kids this year (Thanks to the Parker family). I have to admit, I
have become a little “obsessed” with the dream
– but hey, you just never know!
I
told my friend we were super excited about JMN and I was on board to do
whatever she needed to help with the tour.
I also confided in her my crazy dream…
And she didn’t judge me, she didn’t ridicule me, I think she even got it. It is a big a deal that we have a black
President of the United States, who believes in the same principles of
fairness, equality and liberty in which we believe. One Shabbot morning while our boys were in
Gan and we were talking, she said to me – How about you write a letter to President
Obama on behalf of our JMN group and I can include it in our request for a
public tour. Again, I answered with an
instantaneous YES!
Jonah,
Vera, Jocelyn and I wrote the letter to President Obama over Mothers’ Day
weekend. My friend submitted the request
with the letter and JMN was slotted a public tour of the White House Friday,
June 26, 20015. President Obama was
scheduled to be in town and there was an ever so slight possibility that we
would get a glimpse of him or meet him.
Only time would tell.
Time
Passes, Life Goes On, & We Dream
We
marked our calendars and went on living, doing, laughing, crying, dreaming, and carrying on. We hit some big and some little milestones –
and all of everyday life in-between:
Sometimes
Life is Scary and Sad
On
Monday, June 15, Jonah and Vera started Barrie Day Camp. It is a whole new schedule for our
family. I drive to work every morning
with Jonah and Vera. On the way, we stop across the street from my office and
wait for the camp bus stop at 8:19am. Once
they are on the bus, I go to work for the day. At the end of the day, I rush
over to the bus stop to meet their bus at 5:39, but usually I have to wait. It
usually shows up by 6 and we go home.
They
seem to love camp. The first day they
ran on the bus and did not look back!
They look so big, so grown up running on the bus with their big back
packs – ready for anything, ready for everything. There is a whole blog post in me just waiting
to come out about day camp – that is for another day. But it was also a little
bit scary – for me and for them. It is a
long day at camp. It is totally
different from the past two years at their small Montessori school. They take a BUS?!?! They are basically
outside all day. I know they were both a bit worried and anxious, but we have
made it through the first few weeks and they seem happy and adjusted so far…
On
Tuesday, June 17, we had an ordinary day of work and camp. The kids were in bed by 8pm and I followed
shortly thereafter. But as we were all
sleeping, safely and soundly in Washington, DC – terror and hate erupted in a
church in South Carolina. When we woke
up on Wednesday, things were different. The
shooter, a young white man, walked into Emanuel AME Church, the oldest black
church south of Baltimore around 9pm.
The shooter sat down with the Bible study group for about an hour, and
then shot all of the congregants. Nine
people died.
Cynthia Marie Graham Hurd (54) – Bible study member and manager for the Charleston County Public Library system; sister of Malcolm Graham
- Susie Jackson (87) – a Bible study and church choir member
- Ethel Lee Lance (70) – the church sexton
- Depayne Middleton-Doctor (49) – a pastor who was also employed as a school administrator and admissions coordinator at Southern Wesleyan University
- Rev. Clementa C. Pinckney (41) – the church pastor and a South Carolina state senator
- Tywanza Sanders (26) – a Bible study member; nephew of Susie Jackson
- Daniel Simmons (74) – a pastor who also served at Greater Zion AME Church in Awendaw
- Sharonda Coleman-Singleton (45) – a pastor; also a speech therapist and track coach at Goose Creek High School
- Myra Thompson (59) – a Bible study teacher
(the above info from Wikipedia)
Going
to camp for the first time at 4 or 6 years old, that should be a little bit
scary. Attending bible study class at
your church, in your hometown with your pastor, SHOULD NOT! This shooting was a pure act of evil and
hatred. It was a terrorist attack by a
racist man full of rage and hate. He
should be prosecuted as such. The
victims and their families should be remembered and honored for their faith and
ability to forgive. I was struck that
week by how horrible real life can be sometimes. Sometimes the news seems more like a bad dream – a terrible nightmare. It is so hard to understand the depths of the
racism and hatred in this country. Not
when I look into my children’s faces and their honest eyes. It is learned, this racism and it is a
disease. I kept thinking about whether
and how I would, should, or could discuss the shooting with Jonah and
Vera. But life kept going and I never
did.
The
Big Day
Fast
forward to the next week, the week of June 22.
This was the week of our White House tour with JMN. We were all very excited for the tour. This
was the conversations we had in the car on the way to the bus stop on Thursday
morning:
Jonah: When we go to
the White House tomorrow, I am going to ask President Obama if Uptown Funk is
his favorite song. (Note: Uptown Funk is Jonah’s favorite song and I have
showed him videos of Michelle Obama dancing to it)
Me: Jonah, we may
not actually meet President Obama tomorrow.
Jonah: Well, didn’t he read our note to him?
Me: Yes, but you
know he is President and he has a lot of work to do, like being in charge of
the country.
Jonah: oh well, then I
will ask Michelle about Uptown Funk. I know she likes it – she has a cool dance
to it.
Me: Michelle may be
helping President Obama and she may not be there either. But it is ok because it will be very cool to
visit the house that they live and work in.
Jonah: ok, yeah. I guess so.
I guess they are busy. Maybe you
can email them ask them if it is their favorite song?!?!?
Me: Ok I will see…
By Thursday
night, we knew that President Obama was not supposed to be at the White House
on Friday morning at 10am when our tour was scheduled because it was announced
he would be traveling to South Carolina to give the eulogy at Rev. Clementa C.
Pinckney’s funeral. And that was exactly
where he was supposed to be. We would
not be meeting President Obama on Friday and that was fine by me.
Dreams Come True
On
Friday morning we got up and got ready and began our adventure to the White
House. We met JMN at the visitor’s
gate. We immediately hung out with our
friends from Adat Shalom, but also met a bunch of new friends. All of the families were so interesting and unique
and beautiful. All Jewish families. Many local from DC, MD and VA. And still others traveled from NJ, NY, MA and
California for this tour. All of
different shades and colors but bonded by a commitment to respect each of our
journeys without judgment. All of us inspired by President Obama, the first
black President of the United States.
All of us together on line to visit President Obama’s White House.
This
being Washington, DC we were on line waiting and discussing politics and the
Supreme Court. How awesome that the day
before the Supreme Court decided the cases on fair housing upholding disparate
impact and affirming the Affordable Care Act.
And how important it was that President Obama was going to South
Carolina. What the elections in 2016
were going to look-like. But also we
were wrangling our toddlers, kids, and teenagers. Not all of whom completely understood we need
to wait on multiple lines, pass through multiple checkpoints and behave around
the secret service agents… We met one family in front of us on the line and we
were laughing with them. The mom in
front of me was with her two teenage daughters and she was sharing that knowing
smile with Jocelyn and me. Recognizing that our significantly younger kids were
not as cooperative as her two daughters.
She just said something like – there is light at the end of the
tunnel. To which Jocelyn responded, what
are you kidding me – We are LIVING THE DREAM!!!! The other mom burst out laughing. She loved that. And she agreed wholeheartedly – we are all “Living
the dream!” – Despite the temper
tantrums and yelling and crying and exhaustion – this is exactly what Jocelyn
and I dreamed about when we committed
to starting this family. And we are so
lucky.
Just
about that time, all of our electronic devices began buzzing. The Supreme Court decided the marriage equality
case – for same-sex marriage. Although,
it was not a surprise, it was amazing to be online just about to enter the
White House and to hear the news. Our
marriage, all same-sex marriages are legal in all 50 states. Well done U.S. Supreme Court. Sometimes dreams do come true.
In
the next minute we approached the White House entrance. Stopped for a quick
photo. And then walked in. Now, I am not
making this up but the first thing we saw immediately upon entering the White
House were pictures of Michelle Obama dancing on the Ellen show to Uptown
Funk!!! I thought I was dreaming! There was a caption explaining the whole
thing. The photos were there because the
White House had an exhibit for Gay Pride month in which in had pictures and
posters throughout the tour telling of stories related to Gay Pride. The caption was something like: Michelle was on
Ellen – how Ellen was groundbreaking for coming out in the national spotlight
and how now she has a super popular TV show and that Michele and her danced to
Uptown Funk on her show. Seriously, I was not dreaming… Immediately I
showed Jonah and read him the caption. He
did not get the gay stuff but he did get the Uptown Funk reference. He was happy.
I tell you. We are Living the Dream.
We
walked through the rooms on a self-guided tour.
Reading the references to gay issues and moments. And listening to Rabbi Fred who had obviously
prepared to voluntarily lead parts of our group with commentary through the
tour with lots of information specifically geared to social justice and racial
connection. He did it in the way that a
great rabbi does it – with grace, compassion, empathy and intellectual honesty. Was this all really happening? Was I dreaming? Did my kids have any idea what was going
on? They were busy following their
junior ranger books and doing a “treasure hunt” in all the rooms – just as it
should be.
We
made our way through the White House and emerged from the White House and re-congregated
as a group. When you get out you are allowed
to take photos once again. We gathered
around, said the Sheheckianu together (I may have shed a tear or two – was I dreaming?) And then took a group a
photo. Then we heard the news. President Obama had not left yet. He was there – and giving a speech in the
Rose Garden on the Supreme Court decision on same-sex marriage. Ok, now it really was like I was in dream.
Seriously?
We
made an attempt to walk out the exit and around to the speech area but by the
time we made our way onto the street, we watched just as his helicopter lifted
off from the White House. I told the
kids to wave, that President Obama was in there and off to do some work.
We
all went to lunch together at the Ronald Reagan Building. We came back home with one of Jonah’s friends
from the group. We had planned a little play date in between events as many of
us were gathering for a JMN Shabbot dinner later that night. The play date was sort of a disaster. Jonah and Vera spent most of the playdate alternating
in time out, while their friend was a prefect Angel. Living the Dream I tell you.
Shabbot
was wonderful and compelling. By then
Jonah and Vera bounced back and spent the time hanging out with the group of
kids all ages and colors. They all had a great time hanging out because kids,
that is what kids do – before they are taught to hate for artificial and nonsensical
reasons.
We
all slept well that night. We all had
sweet dreams.
The
next day I watched President Obama’s remarks at the Rose Garden on same-sex marriage
and at the funeral. They were perfect. I
could not have dreamed of anything
more perfect. He got it right both
times.
You
see it was a great week for us. But it
was also tempered by the fights still needing to be fought. I wrote a Facebook post on Friday trying to
some it all up:
It has been a good
week. Today was a great day. We were on line for our White House tour with the
Jewish Multiracial Network this morning when the SCT decision came out. We were
in the White House when the President make his remarks on marriage equality and
we were on the street - just finished the tour when we watched as he left on
Marine1 to speak in South Carolina at the funeral. Jonah and Vera do not have a
clue why this is all so historic but we will keep telling them these stories
and it is part of their story - our American story. Tonight, I am thankful,
proud, happy and joyful. We still have so much work to do and I am committed to
doing it each and every day in all different ways. Health care, disparate
impact in housing, and gay marriage were big wins this week - but complete and
total respect and equal protection under our laws and in our hearts for each
other no matter the color of our skin, our religion, our ethnicity, our sexual
identity, our sexual preference, or our gender is necessary all the time for
everyone - our work is not done. But as it says in genesis - on the seventh day
God rested and said "it is very good" and that was shabbot. We are
celebrating shabbot tonight, celebrating certain equality and praying for peace
and equality - tikkun olam - for everyone. In our very modern family of two
moms, two kids or three women and one boy- or biracial kids, white mom and
black mom or interfaith marriage with Jewish kids - however you want to
describe us - we agree - it is very good - tonight we rest, but then we go back
to work again. #AllLivesMatter #LoveWins #summerofthefun2015- (clearly a
blog post is in the making). Shabbot shalom everyone! And thank you to everyone
who have supported us and these causes and all of the amazing hard work that
has gotten us here - where we are today!
* * *
And
that is it. I am Living the Dream. I am lucky and blessed and aware of how much
work is left to be done in my own little family and in the world. I yell too much. I lose my temper too quickly. I fail to be present and mindful way too
often. And the world – in the world
there s so much more to be done. Tikkun
Olam must happen every day, every moment, every chance we have. I am working or trying to work on that too.
But
in one instant. In one breath. All of it can disappear and the dream vanishes. We wake up to a nightmare. The families of those killed in South
Carolina are living in that nightmare as are so many others – for so many
reasons. Poverty. Discrimination. Gun
Violence. Inequality. Ignorance. Hatred. Anti-Semitism. Homophobia. Sexism.
Transphobia. Greed. Domestic Abuse. Child Abuse. Sexual Abuse. Environmental
Waste. Whatever it is. Only some of us
get the dream.
I am
so very thankful o get my version of the dream and hopeful that many others will get theirs to. It comes with work. We are committed to do the work. I hope you will too.
But it will not happen when we wake up and find out that a number of black churches have burned since the tragedy at AME church. This is a nightmare - not a dream.
#AllLivesMatter
#BlackLivesMatter
#LoveWins
#LivingtheDreamForEveryone
Here are the pictures from our JMN White House Tour
|
Our family as we left the White House - |
|
The next generation! Love these little JMNers! |
|
Our JMN group outside of the White House! |
Here are our #LoveWins pictures:
|
Jocelyn and Heather in Central Park, NYC on March 4, 2007 - our Purim wedding. |
|
Standing in the middle of Times Square,NYC right before we got married on March 4, 2007 - Purim. |
|
October 2009 - Equality March on Washington with a little Jonah. |
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We walked with our awesome friends at the Family Equality Council at the October 2009 march - as we walked by the White House we chanted - "Obama, Obama, Let Mama marry Marma!" |
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On the way home from the March in 10/09, we saw this rainbow from the car... |
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Our signs when we took Vera and Jonah to the protests outside of the Supreme Court on March 26, 2013 for same-sex marriage |
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Our signs when we took Vera and Jonah to the protests outside of the Supreme Court on March 26, 2013 for same-sex marriage |
|
Protesting makes you hungry! A pit stop after hanging on the steps on the Supreme Court. |
|
Our friends at the Family Equality Council invited us to attend the White House Easter Egg Roll in March 2013 |
|
Some other awesome friends invited us to the 2015 Easter Egg Roll this year. |
|
Listening to President Obama and FLOTUS! 2015 Easter Egg Roll |
|
And here we all are on June 26, 2015 right before we are about to tour the White house with JMN, just after hearing the Supreme Court's decision that same-sex marriage is no legal in all 50 states. |
And here are the pics since Dec. 1:
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School Winter Concert 2015!! |
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School Winter Concert 2015!! JOnah is the EmCee |
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School Winter Concert 2015!! Splish Splash! |
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School Winter Concert 2015!! Rocking it on stage |
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Family Chanukah 2014 - dreideling! |
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Family Chanukah 2014! |
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Chanukah presents - disco dreidels |
|
Frosty made his appearance this year as well - Winter 2014 |
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Chanukah 2014 - pre bat mitzvah candle lighting |
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NYC Winter 2014 - American Museum of Natural History! |
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Winter 2014 - NYC Subway |
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Winter 2014 - NYC Greg's apt - candle lighting and chanukah 3d glasses |
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Winter 2014 - visiting NYC buddies |
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2014 Christmas Eve with our cousins in Baltimore |
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Winter 2014 - Super Science Sunday - Light & Kaleidoscopes |
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December 2014 at Zoolights with our buddies from NY |
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NYE 2014 party bowing with our NY buddies |
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January 1 2015 - Visiting the Mansion on O street with NY buddies. |
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January 2015 - first geocahe of 2015 |
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January 2015 - at the diner. |
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January 2015 - first snow on 2015 |
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Celebrating MKL JR day 2015 in Florida with Nana and Pop |
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Celebrating MKL JR day 2015 in Florida with Nana and Pop |
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Celebrating MKL JR day 2015 in Florida with Nana and Pop & alligators! |
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Celebrating MKL JR day 2015 in Florida with Nana and Pop & alligators! |
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Celebrating MKL JR day 2015 in Florida with Nana and Pop & alligators! |
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Celebrating MKL JR day 2015 in Florida with Nana and Pop |
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Celebrating MKL JR day 2015 in Florida with Nana and Pop |
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Happ Groundhog's day 2015 |
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Happy Valentine's Day 2015 |
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A valentine's day haircut |
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Happy Birthday Abe Lincoln! |
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Happy birthday Abe Lincoln! |
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First belt test of 2015 |
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Making our Purim Shaloch Manot - Feb 2015 |
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Making our hamantaschen for Purim - Feb 2015 |
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PURIM 2015 - Theme - NinJEWgo! |
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Visiting mommy at work - March 2015 |
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Happy St Patrick's Day 2015 |
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First day of Little League - March 2015 |
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Vera gets her hair braided at the salon for the first time - March 2015 |
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Celebrating Vera's bday at school - 3/30/15 |
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Vera had a Books & Broadway 4th bday party! Fun! |
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Vera's 4th bday |
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Vera's 4th bday |
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Vera's 4th bday |
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Burning the chametz - Passover 2015 |
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Passover 2015 at my buddy in MD. Great 1st night seder! |
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Look who has the afikoman - Passover 2015 |
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Second Seder in NY with our buddies and a great seder again! |
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Smile! Who has lice?!?!?! Passover 2015 |
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Easter 2015 Brooklyn, NY |
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Easter 2015 Brooklyn, NY |
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Easter 2015 Brooklyn, NY |
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Easter 2015 Brooklyn, NY |
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Easter 2015 Brooklyn, NY |
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Add cEaster 2015 Brooklyn, NY |
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Future President - White house Easter egg Roll 2015 |
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Future President - Easter Egg Roll White House 2015 |
White house Easter Egg Roll 2015
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Take Your kid Work Day April 2015 - we visited the CPSC lab!
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End of Year School show - April 2015 |
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End of Year School show - April 2015 |
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End of Year School show - April 2015 - speech |
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End of Year School show - April 2015 - diploma |
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Add captionEnd of Year School show - April 2015 - lunch at the diner |
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Another belt test - May 2015 |
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Biking at the Park! May 2015 |
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Lag Bomer - May 2015 desert bonfires |
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Pirate ship Cruise Almost summer 2015 |
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Rock Creek Park Stargazing |
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Rock Creek Park Stargazing |
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Rock Creek Park Stargazing |
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Cousin fun BBQ for Grandma's bday - May 2015 - Shady Side |
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Making blintzes - Shavuot 2015 |
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Strawberry Picking - Memorial Day 2015 |
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Strawberry Picking - Memorial Day 2015 |
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Summer Vacay 2015 - Lancaster |
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Summer Vacay 2015 - Lancaster |
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Summer Vacay 2015 - Lancaster |
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Summer Vacay 2015 - Lancaster |
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THIS WAS LAST YEAR - SAME SOT! SUMMER VACAY 2014!!!!! ha ha ha |
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Summer Vacay 2015 - Lancaster |
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Summer Vacay 2015 - Lancaster |
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Summer Vacay 2015 - Lancaster |
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Summer Vacay 2015 - Rehoboth |
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Summer Vacay 2015 - Rehoboth |
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Summer Vacay 2015 - Rehoboth |
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Summer Vacay 2015 - Rehoboth |
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Summer Vacay 2015 - Rehoboth |
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Summer Vacay 2015 - Rehoboth |
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Final Little League Game - June 2015 - Vera was a great mascot! |
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Final Little League Game - June 2015 - What a difference a season makes! |
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Jonah's 6th birthday - Friends Lego Ninjago party! |
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Jonah's 6th birthday - Friends Lego Ninjago party! |
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Jonah's 6th birthday - Friends Lego Ninjago party! |
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Jonah's 6th Family birthday party! June 2015 |
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Jonah's 6th Family birthday party! June 2015 - COUSINS! |
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The ecumenical Bar Mtizvah! Mazel Tov! June 2015 |
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Grandpa's big retirement party! June 2015! |
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Father's Day 2015 - with Pop in Dix Hills |
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Father's Day 2015 - with Pop in Dix Hills |
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Father's Day 2015 - with Granpa in Brooklyn |
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First day of Camp - June 2015
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