Jonah whispered to her as we left - "we coming home tomorrow Vera - but the doctor is taking away my tonsils..."
Jonah was armed with a new camera for kids (the Vtech Kidzoom) and his little bag of toys. Mama and I were armed with too many fears and even more anxiety, as well as lots and lots of new toys... including Woody from Toy Story.
The trip to the hospital was uneventful yet dark. It was all very civilized - the process, the hospital, and participating in the act of scheduled surgery. The hospital is built for kids and everything is done with them in mind... if you are in DC it is the place to go!
Jonah was sort of "excited" - sort of... but also very anxious and scared... and yet had on his brave game face - which is quite amazing to see in your three year old. He was into "documenting" his tonsil experience with his new camera. First, we checked in with the check in nurse. Papers to fill out in a small office. She was funny and had cool stuff in her office.
Then we waited in the waiting room until they called our name. We met the next nurse. She checked Jonah's vitals and put us in a room and gave Jonah his little robe. Then we waited again. This time Jonah got to go to the "play room" - we had our pre-op meetings with his doctor (Dr. Bruce Feldman of The Feldman E-N-T Group) and the anesthesia doctor in the playroom - like I said - all about the kids here.
Then back to our holding room and then quickly to the "sleep room" - there we were with our doctor, the anesthesia doctor and the three of us. Jocelyn held Jonah on her lap and he was going to get the "super hero" mask that smelled like bubble gum. I held his hand and breathed deep for him - he was supposed to copy me. It felt like 10 hours but within minutes he got "weirdly out of it" and then went limp... it is actually horrific to have to see your kid like that - but it is what happens and we go through it. Then they wheeled him off behind double swinging doors and Jocelyn and I went to the waiting room. Exhausted and scared.
Of course this is DC and we ended up bumping into another set of parents we knew who we used to work with - so that was good because it passed the time a bit.
After what I think was about 75 minutes (it might have been 45 minutes.. I just can't remember... again, it felt like 10 hours) they called us and we met with the doctor. He said the tonsils were HUGE!!! And reported, that there was no doubt the damn things needed to come out - no question about it! That made us feel a bit better. We were ushered back to "recovery" and by the time we got there Jonah was up and absolutely hysterically crying... this began the next 24 hours of our lives... a pretty terrible 24 hours at that...
The first hour or so... he was crazy hysterical - as in the worst temper tantrum you have ever witnessed a 3 year old child having... and then imagine it 20 times worse than that - screaming as loud as he could OOOWWWWWWW - it HURTS!!!!!!!!
And now it is time for a side note. I am totally not into pain killers. As in I did not take any pain killers after having a C-section or after having emergency surgery to rip open my breast surgery to scoop out the MRSA infection. Let's just say I have a high tolerance for pain and I can not deal with the loopy feeling you get from Percoset and the like. Some of this stems from my childhood, but I deal with that in therapy and there is so not enough room to deal with it here. My whole thing is that I would rather feel the pain and know that I am alive than have to be numb and afraid that I would never feel again. Now, I get it - everyone feels pain differently so I never judge when other people take pain meds - my thing is if it works for you than so be it. Just don't judge me.
Jocelyn on the other hand - she doesn't do pain. She just doesn't do it. She takes Percoset, Advil, whatever the doctor says. She takes it and is happy to do so.
Back to the tonsil story. So we are in recovery and Jonah is losing his shit and I grab him. I hold him and talk to him, but it isn't even like it is Jonah. It is Jonah in horrific pain and under the influence of anesthesia. Before I have a chance to "talk him and feel him and love him" off the ledge - the nurse shoots his IV with narcotics... within a second he goes limp in my arms. I thought I would lose it. The thing is it killed me to see him in pain, but it destroyed me to feel and see him leave me and the world because of a drug - so scared he might not come back. Here is the thing - the reason I was so worried about the surgery wasn't the surgery itself - it was the anesthesia... He is so little - if they mess that up (and sometimes they do) what could I do?!?!
This drug thing happened for the next hour, every 15minutes. And then for another 4 hours or so, every hour. The nurses were wonderful but they wanted to drug him. They said he was "more disturbed" then others from the pain, etc. and we should keep him calm. But they didn't know Jonah - Jonah is always a little bit "more" of everything than everyone else - that is who he is and what I love about him - I get it because I am often like that too. Jocelyn wanted him to get the meds too - she said we couldn't let him be in so much pain. We both know he is REALLY REALLY sensitive to pain. But my heart broke every time he blanked out from the meds. Finally, they used up the "allotted" amount and I pleaded to try and just use Tylenol. A new nurse came on and agreed. It was now about 6pm. He still had not had a drink or bit to eat - not good.
Moreover, he only had a few moments of quiet time once or twice that he was awake before being drugged - we gave him his Woody doll and he was elated. He insisted we write his name on Woody's foot just like in the movie. Then we also had to write his name on Buzz's foot. And then he managed to ask for Jesse and Bullseye? Really, - in pain from surgery, drugged out of his mind but he still wanted more toys! That's my Jonah.
We tried to give him the Tylenol by mouth - BIG FAIL. So he got it by IV. By this time it was after 7pm. New shift of nurses came on and an anesthesia fellow came around to visit because they couldn't move Jonah to stage 2 because he hadn't drank anything and our surgeon insisted that no matter what - whether or not he ate or drank - he was to be discharged in the morning (did I mention we love our surgeon - HE IS AWESOME - his philosophy - get the kids home as fast as you can and they will get better - my thought as well!). So this young cute doctor fellow guy comes down to visit Jonah. And he talks to Jonah. He talks to him about Buzz, Woody, Lightning McQueen, and Tow Mater... and chocolate ice cream and chocolate milk. He tells him about his little boy and how his favorite thing to do is to eat chocolate ice cream and drink chocolate milk - and guess what, his little boy is only 2 - Jonah is 3... the conversation lasted about 5 minutes but he told that doctor he would eat chocolate ice cream. So I sent Mama to get it from the vending machine and to get some chocolate milk. And then he did it. He ate just a little chocolate ice cream and drank a little bit of chocolate milk. A beginning. And we were off the narcotics... did I mention that I believe in God... because I do.
It was a good start to a long and hard night. We stayed with him in the recovery room - there were no private rooms with walls and doors. But they moved us to a bigger space with one glass wall and let us both stay which was SUPER GREAT of them (and not the rules...). Most patients leave the same day - but we were a 23 hour patient - not admitted but overnight - because Jonah was so young - there were only a few of us like that. The night was filled with screams, crying and hysterics (yes, Jonah's). But we made it through. And by 6am the next day - he looked and sounded 100 % better than when we first saw him after the surgery. Then we came home.
For the next 14 days, we slowly climbed our way back from hell. At least that it was it felt like. No going out. No adventures. No playdates. Most of the time it was Jonah, Vera and me in the house. Mama tried to spend as much time as possible the first few days and I did have my two babystitters around at various times - but they mainly took Vera out and I stayed with Jonah. Now if you have read any of this blog, you know, we don't stay home... we go, be, do and live - with our kaleidoscope by our side. This was hard stuff. It would have been hard if Jonah was 100 percent himself - but he wasn't. He was slowly making his way back but he was in pain, cranky, bored, and not eating or drinking the right away. Each night was filled with night terrors and tears. Every day I had new "Activities" as in new toys, new crafts, new movies, new books... but it was really really hard.
The first day home, he was promised another big toy from the Toy Story movie if he drank his chocolate milk and swallowed his medicine... Jonah picked Jesse (the cowgirl) and wanted to give it to Vera... if that isn't the sweetest thing a parent could witness - I don't know what is. He wanted Vera to get a toy and he wanted to be able to play with her. She squealed in delight when she got it. Have I mentioned how much I love my kids?
We spent most of the next two weeks in the play room. We opened the futon up into abed. We ate ice cream and drank milk shakes in there - normally there is a no food policy in the play room. We had a million lollipops! We watched countless hours of TV. At all hours. We also played with a ton of playdough, we even made our own. We read lots of books. We did many puzzles. Jonah got Scooby Doo toys, Toy Story toys, Spiderman toys, and a million other things - that we played with and then played with again. It was a hard 14 days. But each day his face was a little happier, his voice was a bit cuter, he ate a little more, and he said he had an "OWIE" a little less.
We made it through. From here on out, there will always be "BT" and "AT" - Before Tonsils and After Tonsils. The next few posts I will note which one, until there are no more posts BT - so they will all be AT. We thought we were done with hospitals for a while after the whole tonsils adventure - but we thought wrong. You'll just have to wait for the 411 on that adventure.
I leave you with a funny line of Jonah's. On day 6, Jonah really wanted pizza. I was waiting until after we saw the surgeon at the week check up to start letting him eat everything. Jonah, being Jonah, told me that he was going to ask the doctor for his tonsils back because he really wanted to eat some pizza. I told him he didn't need his tonsils he just needed the ok from the doctor. The check up went great and he got the ok to eat everything - inlcuding pizza.
Below are the best of Jonah's photos from his tonsil adventure. Any photo with him in it - I took - but all the others he took.
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| check in nurse |
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| this is what Jonah thought was interesting... |
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| and this |
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| and this |
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| wall bubbles... |
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| more cool wall stuff |
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| nurse checking vitals... |
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| waiting to give up my tonsils... |
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| he found the playroom |
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| and the cars |
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| is it time to go yet? |
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| right before he goes to sleep... |
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| and there is the sleeping gas... |
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| drugged up on narcotics, minutes after he awoke way too soon in the recovery room... no more tonsils, adenoids, or coblate turbinates... but not not happy!!!! |
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| at least he had Buzz and his new pal Woody... |
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| hours and hours later... the only thing we would drink or eat... CHOCOLATE MILK!!! |
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| he insisted that we write his name on Woody's shoe... and Buzz's |
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| finally, getting ready to go home... |
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| he had a superhero glove and was very ready to get it removed and just wanted to take Woody home... |
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