theme-ing my life away

When I was in six grade we had to do a paper bag project for our English project.  On the outside we had to cut out things from magazines that had something to do with ourselves.  Then on the inside we had to put something to represent what we wanted to be/do when we grew up.  Then we had to prepare a little speech and present it in front of the class for five minutes.

I remember this project.  I remember not being able to decide what to put in the bag:  (1) being President of the United States or (2) being an actress who wins an Academy Award.  I chose the actress. 

I never really got that far in my acting career.  I think it is because I just sort of decided that my life was a movie and I was the star.  I didn't need to actually be in other movies. 

I tell you this all to give context for this weird urging of mine to give themes to my kid's rooms and to their lives.  It is cinematic and dramatic - sort of.  The thing is, I totally get that my kids are who they are (I wrote about this the other day here) and I can not make them into something they are not - yet still I have this urge.  I am not one not to act on such urges.

Jonah has had a theme of his own since he was born.  He was born three weeks early.  I had an emergency C-section because the umbilical cord had basically stopped working.  He was only 4 pounds when he was born.  He came out kicking and screaming. He had to stay in the hospital for 12 days before we could bring him home.  They were the longest most stressful 12 days of my entire life.  Minutes after he was born, we sent an email announcing his birth with his stats and photo to all of our friends and family, we closed the email with "Go Jonah Go" - and that was it.  Jonah's theme.  go Jonah go... Jonah goes, goes, and goes...  I didn't really think about it-it just happened.  Jonah has been "going" ever since.  The kid just goes!  Like the energizer bunny!  And for as long as he could be into anything in particular - Jonah has been into things that go (The book, Things that Go, was his favorite book for about 8 months...) 

When we were getting ready to move and I was all excited about the kids getting their own rooms, I really started obsessing over this "theme" business.  Jonah's happened by accident when he was born.  His theme was born out of a mother's desperate knowing that her son would be OK- he would get to be OK, by "going" and he did.  The going transformed into so much more and has now revealed itself in his love transportation.  Easy.  Jonah's room is "Jonah Goes, Goes, Goes..."

Vera came into our lives in a whirlwind of unexpectedness.  I had just found out that I had a rare form of breast cancer three weeks before.  Then we got the call.  We got her and I knew it would all be OK.  The next 8 moths of our lives were very hard.  A newborn, a toddler, I had one breast cancer surgery, and then another emergency surgery due to complications from the first.  Then follow-up care and weeks of radiation therapy.  We had lots of family helping us.  We had amazing childcare helpers.  I couldn't walk around holding her by myself for at least 3 months.  She was such a good baby.  (Jonah did not let me put him down for 10 seconds for the first 6 mos of his life)  I would look at her while holding her in my lap - she was beautiful and all snuggled up in something pink, me not so beautiful - wrapped in different bandages on my breasts and arms - and we just knew.  I knew that she was supposed to be mine and I knew that she knew I was hers.  I can't explain it but it was all about "knowing" - not about "going" and it was real. 

A few weeks after we moved into the new house, Vera turned one.  What an amazing year for our family.  We had not had a chance to have a proper baby naming for Vera last year, so we planned to do it now, with her first birthday.  I had been thinking about Vera, our year together, her new room, her English & Hebrew names and it came to me:  Vera Knows & Vera Grows.  Whereas, Jonah's room (and life) is all about cars, trains, bikes, hot air balloons, space ships, helicopters, planes and anything else that moves - I envisioned Vera's room as a magical enchanted forest filled with roses, flowers, owls, squirrels, birds, butterflies, dragon flies and other magical creatures. Guess what, apparently, the people who make the stuff that you can buy on amazon.com had the same thought, because you can buy everything I had dreamed of and have it delivered to your front door step... how great is that. (see here)  I bought a bunch of it.  And her room is exactly how I envisioned it.  And she loves it.  She loves her owls!!!  (Yes, I know owls are like the biggest craze these days-but she really loves them)  When she looks at her owls, she says,"whoo whoo whoo!" 

On the actual day of her birthday we had a little "Look Whoooo is turning One" party and she was a HooT!  And we all know that the wise old owls know everything!  She is my little smart fantastic precious wise owl with an old soul.

But seriously, to me Vera is all about this very intense "knowing & growing" - physically and emotionally.  We are about to give her her Hebrew name and the first name is "Vered" which in Hebrew means Rose.  Roses grow.  She helped me grow into a pink warrior and cancer survivor.  She helped Jonah grow into an amazing big brother.  She helped Jocelyn grow into the mother of a daughter who is just as intense & knowing as herself.  All the while, Vera has been growing herself and is on the cusp of grabbing her first literal steps of independence - walking.

I hope my kids will not spend that much extra time in therapy because I gave their bedrooms (and lives) themes...  The themes may change over the years, but for now I love the way our family fits together.  Our personal themes interwoven into a larger family theatrical story.  Each chapter creating an arc for each character.  One day we will all win awards for our performances. 

When my kids are in sixth grade and get some goofy project for their English class, I wonder what they will put on and in their paper bags.  For the outside of their bags, I will have some left over wall decals if they want from when they were babies and their rooms had themes of my choosing.




Add only a short moment of quiet- Jonah;s first photo! 6/11/09



Oct 2009-go Jonah go!

still going- 4/2011- in Chicago picking up his new sister Vera, he visits Lego Discovery World and still making things go!

Even dressed up I am going!

Today, 4/24/2012- New obsession- Lego Plane!  go go go!

Jonah's room!

Only time Jonah is not going - when he sleeps! (although I do hearing him making vroom vroom noises in his sleep!)

Our first picture of Vera- sent via email 4/2/11

days old: April 2011- she's got a knowing look!

she is wearing a rose and with mommy on her 8mos bday (11/30/11) - boy is she growing!

Happy First Birthday!

Vera's Room!

Forest Friends

Vera's Owls!