kaleidoscoping chaos...: Pesach with the Matriarchs!

Tonight's post is dedicated to my grandmother, Beulah Madeline Kaplan - our true Matriarch. She turned 95 this year in March. She is my only living grandmother and is "GG" to my children. The GG stands for Great Grandmother and years ago when she had her first great grandchild she came up with that name. We celebrated her birthday today at our second seder at my parent's house with my brother and his family. Five of GG's great grandchildren were there and all of my parent's grandchildren. This is a wonderful thing.

GG and I have always been very close. I am told that when I was about 2 or 3 (the same age as my son, Jonah today) I had memorized her phone number and would call her when I wanted to run away from home. When I was five, I supposedly took the NYC number 44 public bus from Queens to the Bronx to visit her by myself... and sat behind the bus driver and she was waiting for me at her stop?!?! Anyway, for as long as I can remember GG has been one of my best friends. She took me on NYC adventures when I was very young: shopping at the big Macy's in Manhattan, to see the Rockettes at Radio City Music Hall, to listen to the piano at some big bank in Manhattan, and to eat at fancy restaurants with big deli sandwiches and big cream cakes in the windows! She taught me how to type on an old typewriter. She wrote me letters. She bought be presents. We made chopped liver in her kitchen and filet of sole with homemade french fries... I can still remember exactly how it all smelled in her little kitchen in the Bronx. She met my grandfather when she was 16 and they we were this awesome couple the entire time I knew them. When my grandfather died years ago, everyone was worried about grandma. What would she do without him - he did it all: paid the bills, drove the car and made all the decisions-they were old school and they were in love! I remember sitting with her after that and telling her,"grandma, promise me you will be ok and if you need anything, you will call me. I will be here for you. I need you to be here for me, I need you to be here to tell me all the stories, there are so many stories you need to tell me." And she did it. I taught her how to balance her check book. She had her own credit card, And although, she did not learn how to drive, she did learn how to take buses to everywhere she needed to go and she was doing great! We talked almost every day. I spent many of my vacations (from college, law school and later just from work) with her in Florida (she is snow bird), adventuring together. Then at some point it was clear she was beginning to go down the Alzheimer's path. Even then, she pushed through on her own. Until she couldn't.

For a significant time now, my mom and dad have been taking care of GG because she can not be alone. They spend their time between NY and Florida. They are amazing caregivers and I am lucky to have such a wonderful family. GG is lucky to have such an amazing daughter and son-in-law.

Five years ago I married my partner, Jocelyn, in a fantastic ceremony and party in downtown Manhattan. We got engaged the year before over Chanukah and went to spend New Year's Eve with my grandmother that year. I had not told anyone that Jocelyn and I were dating until we were engaged, so everyone was shocked and very curious when they heard the news-especially since Jocelyn was the first woman I had ever dated. When we showed up in Florida and we told my grandmother, she looked at me and said, "oh so they are doing that now? that's nice honey. Wow, let me see the ring! I love the ring - can I try it on?" My grandmother LOVES jewelry!!! She is also an amazing woman. A year or so later, she walked down the aisle and danced at my wedding and she looked absolutely gorgeous!

GG and Jonah have had lots of fun together and Jonah loves his GG. This makes my heart warm. Vera knows GG too and GG just wants to "eat her up" this too makes me happy beyond explanation.

I hope one day that I have grandchildren who love and respect me as I do GG. And if I can have some great grandchildren too, that would be the icing on the cake.

When I was in 7th or 8th grade I entered a French poem contest (I was taking French at the time). My grandmother always told me stories how she had a grandmother who only spoke French and her mother would leave her with her and they couldn't really communicate. I thought that was funny and interesting and decided to write a poem in French about a grandmother and granddaughter. I think it was a good poem. I remember I wrote it about my grandma (GG) and me. I ended up winning Honorable Mention in the national competition. When I get back home I am going to try and find the poem and post it. Even when I was in middle school, I knew I was very lucky to have a grandma like her.

Today was a very full and wacky day with Nana, Pop and GG and my brother's family. The pictures below give you a glimpse of how the day went. The kids had a blast-which I guess is the point. GG hasn't been feeling so well lately, She is very tired and has a terrible cough. She spent most the day resting. She isn't the same GG she was even 5 years ago at my wedding. But I watched her today. And there were these awesome moments when her eyes twinkled and she let us see a little glow. These moments happened when she was looking at one of her great grandchildren. In one moment, Jonah went to her while she was resting in her chair and said very loudly, "happy birthday GG, I love you so much!" and she beamed him a smile and said I love you too so much! and tussled his hair and he hugged her. In another moment, she was playing peak-a-boo with Vera for a few seconds when Vera was in her high chair and both were laughing in delight. In my head, I "kaleidoscoped" these images into others and they were all beautiful, fleeting and eternal. My children know their GG and love her, just as I do.

She always sent me cards for everything and always addressed them "to my dearest darling heather" - well I hope she knows that she will always be "our dearest darling GG" and so much more.